in that same city in whatever country

Once, in a restaurant in a city somewhere, I stared at a book of matches for some time. I wondered how I too could become a minister of God. Would God like it that I had been smoking? Does God smoke? Can God get emphysema and yellowed fingers and bad breath? I bet God smokes Benson and Hedges light menthol 100's.

Once, in an Internet cafe in a city in some country somewhere while my clothes were washing in the laundromat next door, I read online that some people like to cup their hands over their rear ends when they fart so they can smell their own farts. This made me sad for amputees who have to rely on wind currents or the kindness of friends or strangers.

Later, I was at a standup Turkish kabob stand in that same city in whatever country that was and I was whispering the Canadian national anthem to myself. "Oh Canada, with that flag that's black, light blue and white..." Someone told me that's not really how the song goes, but I generally like to make up national anthems as I go. "Oh say can you pass the ketchup, by the lawn in the eerie light..."

I think God should smoke. A cigarette is great after sex, or a Turkish kabob for that matter. The smoke accentuates life and makes it easier to ignore the floating blue blotches and images of angry women with hammers. The next time I'm some place where they sell stuff, I will buy God an ashtray.